We met when I was broken
We met when I wasn’t sure of the sun tomorrow
When the idea of you was laughable
When everyone said I should have more of you
And all I could do was wince
Because to believe in you would meant believing
In reason. And purpose. A greater purpose
I met you as I was lying, staring down the night
Tears blinding my swollen eyes
Choking the breath from my chest
I met you when I had nowhere else to go
No one else to turn to
When my pillow was cold and wet, and warm and full

And here you are
No matter how many times I throw you out
You return like a bad penny.
You come in with a scent of fresh rain
Rich red soil, tinged with ocean
I feel you trying to warm your feet on my heart
I feel you try and remove the glaze over my eyes
I feel your nails prising open my heart

Faith.
You’ve made your home here
Are you welcomed here?
Does having you here make me blind to the truth?
Why do you insist on being in this cold, damp house?
No one else wants to stay
But you push in and take my favourite seat
You don’t explain why this is the house you want to be in
Surely there must be better homes?
Homes that are bright and clean and new
Hearts that believe
Hearts that are faithful

I prepare for battle with faith
I armour myself with logic and facts and sense
I barricade my home with boulders
I am an impenetrable fort
I will not be swayed by comfort and rest
I say no to peace
I stay lucid and aware of all the things that go wrong Faith is for the weak. I am not weak
I have weathered so many nights without you
How dare you glide in now

I win the battle against faith
My heart is a cold, grey frost
Siberia in Sahara
You do not remain
Not a shred of you is to be seen
My faithless life is a colourless life
But I was not wrong?
Faith makes you weak
Faith makes you dependant
Faith makes you human

-end

Inspiration hits you like a bus. That’s the truest way to describe it. The poet, Rupi Kaur, hosted an IG Live workshop on Friday and I attended. And in the space of one hour, I had done more writing that I had done in a month.

I wrote the piece above in the space of one hour. The prompts were simple and clear:
– Choose something you have ever struggled with.
– In the first paragraph introduce it with the words ‘We met’ without using the word for the thing you have chosen.
– The second paragraph continue with the description with the introduction ‘And here you are’.
– Then finally name the thing in the third paragraph.
– The final two paragraphs you must confront the thing, wage won and win.

In hindsight, and having heard some pieces that people wrote during the workshop, it may have been easier to pick a conventional monster. Whose confrontation and defeat would have made for a brighter piece. But I don’t feel so bright right now. So I chose to be honest instead.